Each day I find myself sitting in silence more and more. I guess I am feeling pretty bold because sometimes silence is a scary thing. Maybe I’m searching for answers. Whatever the case may be, I seem to be starting and ending my day listening to the sound of my cat playing.
The thoughts of the day. The mishaps, the unanswered questions, the good and the bad.. It all floats around up there and in the silence they make themselves known.
Silence isn’t a bad thing. In the world we live in I don’t think we allow ourselves enough. I know up until recently, the idea of sitting in silence was asking for trouble. Who knows what God would be telling me if I just took a moment to listen. The older I get the more I press to hear the word of God spoken. In my life anytime I’ve attempted to plan or think I had something figured out God showed me He wanted something different. Finally I feel like my life is falling into place with His will. Now I’m just scared to want anything. The idea that it could be taken away from me isn’t something I like. But I trust Him and know that he brought me to this point in life for a reason. He’s opened and shut many doors, and some of them very forcefully. All of this was to make a way for the right plan. His plan. I’m trying to be obedient with every step I take. Hence why I think I am sitting in silence a lot more. Because I need Him to direct me. I need to know that where I am going is where he wants me.
Up to this point, 2011, my life has been pretty me focused. Now what would it look life if I was “He” focused (I hope that makes sense)? What in my life would need to change?
Silence can do strange things to a person. It can show you the good sides of your soul and it can show you the ugly. Over the past 3 months God has shown me some pretty ugly things. My silence is how I sort it out. It’s how my mind comes to grip with what is going on around me. My silence reminds me that this life isn’t all about the things in this world or the toys and gadgets. But it’s about waiting on the Lord and finding rest in Him. My life may not be slowing down anytime soon, but each day I start and end it with a peace given to me by my creator. It’s just up to me if I keep my soul at rest all day or if I let the madness take over. Madness won today. Hence why there are 2 writings in a day.